Thoughts on Religious
Experience
Archibald Alexander, 1844
Piety in children—Comparatively few renewed in
childhood—Soul awakened in different ways—Legal conviction not a necessary
part of true religion—Progress of conviction
Many believe that infants are naturally free from moral
pollution and, therefore, need no regeneration. But this opinion is
diametrically opposite to the doctrine of Scripture, and inconsistent with
the acknowledged fact that, as soon as they are capable of moral action, all
do go astray and sin against God. If children were not depraved, they would
be naturally inclined to love God and delight in His holy law; but the
reverse is true.
There is no ground for those who are still impenitent to
comfort themselves with the notion that they were regenerated in early
childhood—for piety in a child will be as manifest as in an adult; and in
some respects, more so, because there are so few young children who are
pious, and because they have more simplicity of character and are much less
liable to play the hypocrite than people of mature age. Mere decency of
external behavior, with a freedom from gross sins, is no evidence of
regeneration; for these things may be found in many whose spirit is proud
and self-righteous, and entirely opposite to the religion of Christ. And we
know that outward regularity and sobriety may be produced by the restraints
of a religious education and good example, where there are found none of the
internal characteristics of genuine piety.
Suppose then, that in a certain case grace has been
communicated at so early a period that its first exercises cannot be
remembered, what will be the evidences which we should expect to find of its
existence? Surely, we ought not to look for wisdom, judgment, and the
stability of adult years, even in a pious child. We should expect, if I may
say so, a childish piety—a simple, devout, and tender state of heart. As
soon as such a child should obtain the first ideas of God as its Creator,
Preserver, and Benefactor, and of Christ as its Savior, who shed His blood
and laid down His life for us on the cross—it would be piously affected with
these truths, and would give manifest proof that it possessed a
susceptibility of emotions and affections of heart corresponding with the
conceptions of truth which it was capable of taking in. Such a child would
be liable to sin, as all Christians are—but when made sensible of faults, it
would manifest tenderness of conscience and genuine sorrow, and would be
fearful of sinning afterwards. When taught that prayer was both a duty and a
privilege, it would take pleasure in drawing near to God, and would be
conscientious in the discharge of secret duties. A truly pious child would
be an affectionate and obedient child to its parents and teachers; kind to
brothers and sisters, and indeed to all other people; and would take a
lively interest in hearing of the conversion of sinners, and the advancement
of Christ's kingdom in the world.
We ought not to expect from a regenerated child uniform
attention to serious subjects, or a freedom from that gaiety and volatility
which are characteristic of that tender age; but we should expect to find
the natural propensity moderated, and the temper softened and seasoned, by
the commingling of pious thoughts and affections with those which naturally
flow from the infant mind. When such children are called, in Providence, to
leave the world, then commonly their piety breaks out into a flame, and
these young saints, under the influence of divine grace, are enabled so to
speak of their love to Christ and confidence in Him, as astonishes, while it
puts to shame aged Christians. Many examples of this kind we have on record,
where the evidence of genuine piety was as strong as it well could be. There
is a peculiar sweetness, as well as tenderness, in these early buddings of
grace. In short, the exercises of grace are the same in a child as in an
adult, only modified by the peculiarities in the character and knowledge
of a child. Indeed, many adults in years who are made the subjects of grace
are children in knowledge and understanding, and require the same
indulgence, in our judgments of them, as children in years.
To those who cannot fix any commencement of their pious
exercises—but who possess every other evidence of a change of heart, I would
say: Be not discouraged on this account—but rather be thankful that you have
been so early placed under the tender care of the great Shepherd, and have
thus been restrained from committing many sins to which your nature, as well
as that of others, was inclined. The habitual evidences of piety are the
same, at whatever period the work commenced. If you possess these, you
are safe. And early piety is probably more steady and consistent when
matured by age, than that of later origin, though the change, of course,
cannot be so evident to yourselves or others.
The education of children should proceed on the principle
that they are in an unregenerate state, until evidences of piety clearly
appear, in which case they should be sedulously cherished and nurtured.
These are Christ's lambs—"little ones, who believe in Him" (Matt 18:6; Mark
9:42)—whom none should offend or mislead upon the peril of a terrible
punishment. But though the religious education of children should proceed on
the ground that they are destitute of grace, it ought ever to be used as a
means of grace. Every lesson, therefore, should be accompanied with the
lifting up of the heart of the instructor to God for a blessing on the
means. "Sanctify them through your truth; your word is truth." (John 17:17)
Although the grace of God may be communicated to a human
soul at any period of its existence in this world, yet the fact manifestly
is, that very few are renewed in early childhood. Most people with whom we
have been acquainted grew up without giving any decisive evidence of a
change of heart. Though religiously educated, yet they have evinced a lack
of love to God, and an aversion to spiritual things. Men are very reluctant,
it is true, to admit that their hearts are wicked and at enmity with God.
They declare that they are conscious of no such feeling—but still the
evidence of a dislike to the spiritual worship of God they cannot altogether
disguise; and this is nothing else but enmity to God. They might easily be
convicted of loving the world more than God, the creature more than the
Creator; and we know that he who will be the friend of the world is the
enemy of God.
Let the most moral and amiable of mankind, who are in
this natural state, be asked such questions as these: Do you take real
pleasure in perusing the sacred Scriptures, especially those parts which are
most spiritual? Do you take delight in secret prayer, and find your heart
drawn out to God in strong desires? Do you spend much time in contemplating
the divine attributes? Are you in the habit of communing with your own
hearts, and examining the true temper of your souls? No unregenerate people
can truly answer these, and suchlike questions, in the affirmative.
It is evident, then, that most people whom we see around
us and with whom we daily converse, are in the gall of bitterness and bond
of iniquity, and, continuing in that state, where Christ is they never can
come. And yet, alas! they are at ease in Zion, and seem to have no fear of
that wrath which is coming. Their case is not only dangerous—but
discouraging. Yet those who are now in a state of grace, yes those of our
race who are now in heaven, were once in the same condition. You, my reader,
may now be a member of Christ's body and heir of His glory; but you can
easily look back and remember the time when you were as unconcerned about
your salvation as any of the mirthful, who are now fluttering around you.
The same power which arrested you is able to stop their mad career. Still
hope and pray for their conversion.
But tell me, how were you brought to turn from your
wayward, downward course? This, as it relates to the external means of
awakening, would receive a great variety of answers. One would say, "While
hearing a particular sermon, I was awakened to see my lost estate, and I
never found rest or peace until I was enabled to believe in the Lord Jesus
Christ." Another would answer, "I was brought to consideration, by the
solemn and pointed conversation of a pious friend who sought my salvation."
While a third would answer, "I was led to serious consideration, by having
the hand of God laid heavily upon me in some affliction." In regard to many,
the answer would be, that their minds were gradually led to serious
consideration, they scarcely know how.
Now in regard to these external means or circumstances,
it matters not whether the attention was arrested and the conscience
awakened, by this or that means, gradually or suddenly. Neither do these
things at all assist in determining the nature of the effect produced. All
who ever became pious must have begun with serious consideration, whatever
means were employed to produce this state of mind. But all who, for a
season, become serious, are not certainly converted. There may be solemn
impressions and deep awakenings which never terminate in a saving change—but
end in some delusion, or the person returns again to his old condition, or
rather to one much worse; for it may be laid down as a maxim, that religious
impressions opposed, leave the soul in a more hardened state than before;
just as iron, heated and then cooled, becomes harder. In general, those
impressions which come gradually, without any unusual means, are more
permanent than those which are produced by circumstances of a striking and
alarming nature. But even here there is no general rule. The nature of the
permanent effects is the only sure criterion. "By their fruits you shall
know them." (Matt 7:20)
That conviction of sin is a necessary part of
experimental religion, all will admit; but there is one question respecting
this matter, concerning which there may be much doubt; and that is, whether
a law-work, prior to regeneration, is necessary; or, whether all true and
beneficial conviction is not the effect of regeneration. I find that a
hundred years ago this was a matter in dispute between the two parties into
which the Presbyterian church was divided, called the old and new side. The
Tennents and Blairs insisted much on the necessity of conviction of sin by
the law, prior to regeneration; while Thompson and his associates were of
opinion that no such work was necessary, nor should be insisted on. As far
as I know, the opinion of the necessity of legal conviction has generally
prevailed in all our modern revivals: and it is usually taken for granted,
that the convictions experienced are prior to regeneration. But it would be
very difficult to prove from Scripture, or from the nature of the case, that
such a preparatory work was necessary.
Suppose an individual to be, in some certain moment,
regenerated; such a soul would begin to see with new eyes, and his own sins
would be among the things first viewed in a new light. He would be
convinced, not only of the fact that they were transgressions of the law—but
he would also see that they were intrinsically evil, and that he deserved
the punishment to which they exposed him. It is only such a conviction as
this that really prepares a soul to accept of Christ in all His offices; not
only as a Savior from wrath—but from sin. And it can scarcely be believed,
that that clear view of the justice of God in their condemnation, which most
people sensibly experience, is the fruit of a mere legal conviction on an
unregenerate heart. For this view of God's justice is not merely of the fact
that this is His character—but of the divine excellency of His attributes,
which is accompanied with admiration of it, and a feeling of acquiescence or
submission. This view is sometimes so clear, and the equity and propriety of
punishing sin are so manifest, and the feeling of acquiescence so strong,
that it has laid the foundation for the very absurd opinion, that the true
penitent is made willing to be damned for the glory of God. When such a
conviction as this is experienced, the soul is commonly near to comfort,
although at the moment it is common to entertain the opinion, that there is
no salvation for it. It is wonderful, and almost unaccountable, how calm the
soul is in the prospect of being forever lost.
An old lady of the Baptist denomination was the first
person I ever heard give an account of Christian experience, and I recollect
that she said that she was so deeply convinced that she should be lost, that
she began to think how she should feel and be exercised in hell; and it
occurred to her, that all in that horrid place were employed in blaspheming
the name of God. The thought of doing so was rejected with abhorrence, and
she felt as if she must and would love Him, even there, for His goodness to
her; for she saw that she alone was to blame for her destruction, and that
He could, in consistency with His character, do nothing else but inflict
this punishment on her. Now surely her heart was already changed, although
not a ray of comfort had dawned upon her mind.
But is there not before this, generally, a rebellious
rising against God, and a disposition to find fault with His dealings? It
may be so in many cases—but this feeling is far from being as universal as
some suppose. As far as the testimony of pious people can be depended on,
there are many whose first convictions are of the evil of sin, rather than
of its danger, and who feel real compunction of spirit for having committed
it, accompanied with a lively sense of their ingratitude. This question,
however, is not of any great practical importance; but there are some truly
pious people who are distressed and perplexed, because they never
experienced that kind of conviction which they hear others speak of, and the
necessity of which is insisted on by some preachers. Certainly that which
the reprobate may experience—which is not different from what all the guilty
will feel at the day of judgment—cannot be a necessary part of true
religion; and yet it does appear to be a common thing for awakened people to
be at first under a mere legal conviction.
Though man, in his natural state, is spiritually dead,
that is, entirely destitute of any spark of true holiness, yet is he still a
reasonable being, and has a conscience by which he is capable of discerning
the difference between good and evil, and of feeling the force of moral
obligation. By having his sins brought clearly before his mind, and his
conscience awakened from its stupor, he can be made to feel what his true
condition is as a transgressor of the holy law of God. This sight and sense
of sin, under the influence of the common operations of the Spirit of God,
is what is usually styled conviction of sin. And there can be no
doubt that these views and feelings may be very clear and strong in an
unrenewed mind. Indeed, they do not differ in kind from what every sinner
will experience at the day of judgment, when his own conscience will condemn
him, and he will stand guilty before his Judge. But there is nothing in this
kind of conviction which has any tendency to change the heart, or to make it
better.
Some indeed have maintained, with some show of reason,
that under mere legal conviction the sinner grows worse and worse; and
certainly he sees his sins to be greater in proportion as the light of truth
increases. There is not, therefore, in such convictions, however clear and
strong, any approximation to regeneration. It cannot be called a preparatory
work to this change, in the sense of disposing the person to receive the
grace of God. The only end which it can answer is to show the rational
creature his true condition, and to convince the sinner of his absolute need
of a Savior. Under conviction there is frequently a more sensible rising of
the enmity of the heart against God and His law; but feelings of this kind
do not belong to the essence of conviction. There is also sometimes an awful
apprehension of danger; the imagination is filled with strong images of
terror, and hell seems almost uncovered to the view of the convinced sinner.
But there may be much of this feeling of terror, where there is very little
real conviction of sin; and on the other hand, there often is deep and
permanent conviction, where the passions and imagination are very little
excited.
When the entrance of light is gradual, the first effect
of an awakened conscience is, to attempt to rectify what now appears to have
been wrong in the conduct. It is very common for the conscience, at first,
to be affected with outward acts of transgression, and especially with some
one prominent offence. An external reformation is now begun: for this can be
effected by mere legal conviction. To this is added an attention to the
external duties of religion, such as prayer, reading the Bible, hearing the
Word, etc. Everything, however, is done with a legal spirit; that is, with
the wish and expectation of making amends for past offences; and if painful
penances should be prescribed to the sinner, he will readily submit to them
if he may, by this means, make some atonement for his sins. But as the light
increases, he begins to see that his heart is wicked, and to be convinced
that his very prayers are polluted for lack of right motives and affections.
He, of course, tries to regulate his thoughts and to exercise right
affections; but here his efforts prove fruitless. It is much easier to
reform the life, than to bring the corrupt heart into a right state.
The case now begins to appear desperate. The sinner knows
not which way to turn for relief and, to cap the climax of his distress, he
comes at length to be conscious of nothing but unyielding hardness of heart.
He fears that the conviction which he seemed to have is gone, and that he is
left to total obduracy. In these circumstances he desires to feel keen
compunction and overwhelming terror, for his impression is that he is
entirely without conviction. The truth is, however, that his convictions are
far greater than if he experienced that sensible distress which he so much
courts. In this case, he would not think his heart so incurably bad, because
it could entertain some right feeling—but as it is, he sees it to be
destitute of every good emotion and of all tender relentings. He has got
down to the core of iniquity, and finds within his bosom a heart
unsusceptible of any good thing. Does he hear that others have obtained
relief by hearing such a preacher, reading such a book, conversing with some
experienced Christian? He resorts to the same means—but entirely without
effect. The heart seems to become more insensible, in proportion to the
excellence of the means enjoyed. Though he declares he has no sensibility of
any kind, yet his anxiety increases; and perhaps he determines to give
himself up solely to prayer and reading the Bible; and if he perishes, to
perish seeking for mercy.
But however strong such resolutions may be, they are
found to be in vain; for now, when he attempts to pray, he finds his mouth
as it were shut. He cannot pray. He cannot read. He cannot meditate. What
can he do? Nothing. He has come to the end of his legal efforts; and the
result has been the simple—deep conviction that he can do nothing; and if
God does not mercifully interpose, he must inevitably perish. During all
this process he has some idea of his need of divine help—but until now he
was not entirely cut off from all dependence on his own strength and
exertions. He still hoped that, by some kind of effort or feeling he could
prepare himself for the mercy of God. Now he despairs of this, and not only
so—but for a season he despairs, it may be, of salvation—gives himself up
for lost. I do not say that this is a necessary feeling, by any means—but I
know that it is very natural, and by no means uncommon, in real experience.
But conviction having accomplished all that it is capable
of effecting, that is, having emptied the creature of self-dependence and
self-righteousness, and brought him to the utmost extremity—even to the
borders of despair, it is time for God to work. The proverb says, "Man's
extremity is God's opportunity." So it is in this case; and at this time, it
may reasonably be supposed, the work of regeneration is wrought, for a new
state of feeling is now experienced. Upon calm reflection, God appears to
have been just and good in all His dispensations; the blame of its perdition
the soul fully takes upon itself, acknowledges its ill-desert, and acquits
God. "Against you, you only, have I sinned and done this evil in your sight,
that you might be justified when you speak, and be clear when you judge."
(Psalm 51:4) The sinner resigns himself into the hands of God, and yet is
convinced that if he does perish, he will suffer only what his sins deserve.
He does not fully discover the glorious plan according to which God can be
just and the Justifier of the ungodly who believe in Jesus Christ.
The above is not given as a course of experience which
all real Christians can recognize as their own—but as a train of exercises
which is very common. And as I do not consider legal conviction as necessary
to precede regeneration—but suppose there are cases in which the first
serious impressions may be the effect of regeneration, I cannot, of course,
consider any particular train of exercises under the law as essential. It
has been admitted, however, that legal conviction does in fact take place in
most instances, prior to regeneration; and it is not an unreasonable
inquiry—'why is the sinner thus awakened?' What good purpose does it answer?
The reply has been already partially given; but it may be remarked, that God
deals with man as an accountable, moral agent, and before he rescues him
from the ruin into which he is sunk, he would let him see and feel, in some
measure, how wretched his condition is; how helpless he is in himself, and
how ineffectual are his most strenuous efforts to deliver himself from his
sin and misery. He is therefore permitted to try his own wisdom and
strength. And finally, God designs to lead him to the full acknowledgment of
his own guilt, and to justify the righteous Judge who condemns him to
everlasting torment.
Conviction, then, is no part of a sinner's salvation—but
the clear practical knowledge of the fact that he cannot save himself, and
is entirely dependent on the saving grace of God.