HELP HEAVENWARD by
Octavius Winslow
Self-Communion
“Commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be
still."
Psalm 4:4.
It will be acknowledged by every spiritual and reflecting
mind that the tendencies of the age are not the most favorable to the calm,
solemn, holy duty of self-communion. We are fallen upon times of great
religious, as well as worldly activity and excitement. So strong and
rushing, indeed, is the tide, that there exists a fearful and fatal
liability in those who profess to walk with God, as did Noah and Enoch, to
neglect entirely one of the most essential and effectual helps heavenward-
the due, faithful, and constant examination of the spiritual state and
condition of their own hearts. To the consideration of this
vitally-important subject- a subject so intimately entwined with our
progress in the divine life- let us now address ourselves.
The Divine precept is emphatic- “Commune with your own heart upon your bed,
and be still;” or, as it is rendered in another and a beautiful version of
the Psalms, “Commune with your own heart in your chamber, and be still?”
Both renderings are good, but perhaps the latter conveys more distinctly and
impressively the idea of retirement for self-communion. “Come, my people,
enter into your chambers,” is the invitation of God to His Church. Like to
this is the Savior’s exhortation- “When you pray, enter into your closet.”
With everything but themselves the great mass of human beings by whom we are
surrounded are in the closest communion. Man is in communion with nature in
its glories, with science in its wonders, with art in its triumphs, with
intellect in its attainments, with power in its achievements, with the
creation in its attraction.
There is but one object with which he holds no rational, sacred, and close
communion-- from which, though the nearest and the most important, he seems
the most widely isolated; that object is- himself! He studies not the
wonders of his being, the spirituality of his nature, the solemnity of his
relations, the accountability of his actions, the immortality of his
destiny. He thinks not of himself, and of death, and judgment, and eternity
at the same moment. He will examine and prepare himself for worldly
preferment, but his state as a moral being, his position as a responsible
being, his future as an accountable and deathless being, absorbs not a
moment, awakens not a thought, inspires not an aspiration of his soul! What
a fearful verification of and comment upon the word of God, “dead in
trespasses and in sins!”
But the saints of God present another and a widely-different class. The
religion of Jesus, while it is designed to disarm man of selfishness, and,
when enthroned supremely upon the heart, ennobles and expands it with the
“expulsive power of a new affection,” yet concentrates his most serious,
devout, and earnest consideration upon himself. “Man, know yourself,”
becomes a heathen maxim, in its highest and noblest sense, Christianized. It
is of the utmost moment, then, that the saint of God should be kept in
perpetual remembrance of this sacred duty of self-communion: its neglect
entails immense spiritual deterioration and loss; its observance will, more
than all other engagements- for it stimulates to activity all others-
effectually advance the soul in its heavenward course.
Self-communion is the topic which will now engage our thoughts- may we give
to it the devout and earnest consideration which a subject so closely
intertwined with our personal advance in heavenly fitness demands! Oh that
this chapter of our work may be written and read under the especial
anointing of God the Holy Spirit! Let us endeavor to ascertain what this
sacred duty involves.
Know Your True Spiritual State Before God. In the first
place, my beloved reader, commune with your own heart, to know its true
spiritual state as before God. This will bring under your review the subject
of conversion- a state which many take for granted without scriptural
evidence of the fact; a great question in the matter of salvation, which, to
speak after the manner of the schoolmen, too many beg- they assume the
existence of their personal conversion without proof. And yet how vast the
consequences of the most momentous question they take for granted! There is
no statement clearer in God’s Word than this, that to enjoy heaven we must
become heavenly. God cannot cease to be God; therefore He could not make us,
like Himself, perfectly happy, unless He made us, like Himself, perfectly
holy.
The Holy Spirit must make us new creatures- the subjects of a nature that
is Divine- in order to fit us for the enjoyment of a heaven that is pure.
The questions, then, which we must weigh are- Have I passed from death unto
life? Has my heart been convinced of sin? Am I a subject of the new birth?
and from a state of insensibility to objects, and feelings, and hopes that
are spiritual, eternal, and divine, have I been quickened by the
regenerating Spirit to walk with God, and before the world, in newness of
life? These are personal and serious questions, which must not, which
cannot, be evaded without imperiling all that is most dear and precious to
your everlasting well-being. Oh, give to your eyes no slumber until the
subject of the new birth has awakened in your mind the profoundest thought.
It is spoken by Him who is the Truth, and it is written by Him who is the
Spirit of Truth, “Unless a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of
God.”
Heaven or hell is suspended upon the issue! My reader! are you sensible
that within you all things have been made new? that, whereas once you were
blind, now you see? that your heart is in sympathy with objects that are
spiritual, with enjoyments that are holy, with engagements that are
heavenly?- in a word, that your views of sin and self, of God and of Christ
and of the gospel, are radically, essentially changed, and that you seem to
yourself the subject of a new-born existence, and the occupant of a
new-created world?
Know The Existence and Condition of the Love of God in
Your Own Heart. Commune with yourself to ascertain the existence and
condition of the love of God in your heart. Enmity or love to Jehovah
characterize us; there is no modified state between these extremes. A
careful inspection of our hearts as to this principle will enable us
correctly to decide our spiritual condition before the Lord. Do you love God
because He is holy? His law, because it is righteous? His government,
because it is divine and just? His ways, because they are wise, and right,
and sure? Do you love Him for sending His Son into the world to save
sinners? Do you love Him as a Father, as a Friend, as a God in covenant
relation? How stands your heart, O believer! with God as to its love?
Christian, what is the warmth and vigor and ardor of your affections
towards God? Do you so love God in Christ as, under its constraining
influence, to do what He commands, to yield what He asks, to go where He
bids, to hate what He hates, and to love what He loves; yes, to embrace Him
with an affection simple, single, and supreme, oblivious, if need be, of
every other claimant, and satisfied, if so He willed it, with Him alone? Oh,
what is the state of your love to Jesus- frigid, selfish, inconstant; or,
glowing, self-denying, fixed? You ask how your love to Christ may be tested
and increased? Test it by obedience; “If you love me, keep my commandments.”
Increase it by a more close, believing dealing with Christ’s love to you.
Your love to Christ will never increase by feeding upon itself. You must
light your torch of affection at the altar of Calvary. You must go there,
and learn and believe what the love of Jesus is to you: the vastness of that
love-- the self-sacrifice of that love-- how that love of Christ labored and
wept, bled, suffered, and died for you. Can you stand before this love- this
love so precious, so great, so enduring, so self-consuming, so changeless,
and know that for you was this offering, for you this cross, for you this
agony, for you this scorn and insult, for you this death, and feel no
sensibility, no emotion, no love? Impossible! Sit not down, then, in vain
regrets that your love to God in Christ is so frigid, so fickle, so dubious;
go and muse upon the reality, the greatness, the present intercession of the
Savior’s love to you, and if love can inspire love, then methinks that,
while you muse, the fire will burn, and your soul shall be all in flame with
love to God. “The Lord direct your heart into the love of God.”
Know Your Own Heart as to its Views of, and Feelings
towards the Lord Jesus Christ. Commune with your own heart
as to its views of, and its feelings towards, the Lord Jesus. The great
question, which decides so much is, “What do you think of Christ?” Is it
with you a reality that Christ died for sinners? Do you fully credit the
promise by which God has engaged to accept through His sacrifice and
intercession all who believe in His name? Do you believe Him to be divine,
accept His obedience as justifying, and His death as sacrificial? Has it
pleased God to reveal His Son in you? Is He precious to your heart? And do
you receive Him, trust in Him, follow Him, and hope to be with Him forever,
as all your salvation and all your desire? You ask me how you may come to a
right conclusion in the matter. You long, you yearn, you pray to know
whether or not you love Christ, are one of His disciples, and shall
certainly be with Him where He is.
But why doubt it? Is the matter so difficult? If your mind were filled with
admiration of a being, could you question the emotion thus awakened? If your
heart were captivated by an object of superior intellect and beauty-- and
that object, towards which the yearning and clinging of your affection went
forth in a warm and ceaseless flow, became supremely enthroned in your
sympathy and regard, would the fact admit of a moment’s doubt? Would you
call in question the existence, the reality, or even the intensity of your
love? Impossible! The higher and more momentous question of your attachment
to Christ admits of a yet easier solution.
Do I love Jesus? Is He the object of my supreme admiration and delight? Is
He the chosen, the preferred, the supreme Being of my warmest affection? Is
He precious to my soul? And am I trusting believingly, and exclusively, and
without mental reservation, as a sinner utterly undone, self-abhorred, and
self-condemned, to His atoning sacrifice? And still you hesitate! And yet
you doubt! It is still a problem which you tremble to solve! You think of
your sinfulness, your unworthiness, of the taint and flaw and unloveliness
of all you are doing, of your faint love, of your weak faith, of your
doubtful sincerity, and then you shrink from the thought of claiming an
interest in Christ, and resign yourself to the conviction that your
salvation is an utter impossibility- that you are not, and never will be,
saved!
But to take a closer view of the matter. Upon what ground do you base this
hesitation and justify this self-exemption from the great salvation? It is
not for your worth that you are saved, but for Christ’s worth. It is not on
the ground of your personal merit that you are justified, but on the ground
of Christ’s merit alone. It is not upon the plea of your fitness, your
tears, your confessions, your prayers, your duties, that God forgives and
accepts you, but simply and exclusively upon the one plea of the Savior’s
sacrifice. The BLOOD of Christ pardons, the RIGHTEOUSNESS of Christ
justifies you, and this is all that you require, or that God demands.
The great work is all done- it is not to be done. It is complete, finished,
accepted, sealed. And you, as a lost sinner, without holiness, without
strength, without one plea that springs from what you are, have nothing to
do. Believe, and you are saved. Believing is not doing, it is not meriting,
it is TRUSTING- it is the simple exercise of a faith in Christ which God
gives, and which the Holy Spirit produces in the heart; so that your
salvation, from beginning to end, is entirely out of yourself, in another.
With what clearness and emphasis has the Spirit of truth set forth this: “By
the works of the law shall no flesh be justified,” (Gal. 2:16.) “But to him
that works not, but believes on him that justifies the ungodly, his faith is
counted for righteousness,” (Rom. 4:5.) All your own works, until your faith
embrace the Lord Jesus, are “dead works,” and dead works never took a soul
to heaven!
You need as much the ATONING BLOOD to purge you from dead works as to purge
you from deadly sins. Hear the words of the Holy Spirit- “How much more
shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself
without spot to God, purge your conscience from DEAD WORKS to serve the
living God?” (Heb. 9:14.) And still you ask, “What then must I DO to be
saved?” Do! I answer- NOTHING! All is done, completely and for ever done!
Blessed, O thrice blessed be God! Christ has done it all- paid it all-
endured it all- suffered it all- finished it all- leaving you, O
sin-burdened, anxious, trembling, hesitating soul, nothing to do, and only
to believe.
Will not this suffice? Will you demur a moment longer to commit yourself to
Christ, to lay your soul on Jesus, to accept the salvation, the heaven, the
crown, the eternal life He proffers you as the free bestowments of His
grace? Your sins, countless as the stars, are no barrier to your salvation
if you but believe in Jesus. Your transgressions, deep as scarlet and as
crimson, shall not be of too deep a dye if you but plunge into the fountain
of Christ’s blood. His delight, His glory is to receive sinners- to receive
you. And the moment you cease to give over doing, and begin only to believe,
from that moment your soul rests from its labor, you enter into peace, and
are forever saved!
Know the Ruling Principles of Your Actions.
Commune with your own heart touching its ruling principles of action. It is
a law of our moral being that the human heart must be governed by some
all-controlling, all-commanding principle-- some secret potent spring that
moves and regulates the entire powers of the soul. What is the ruling
principle of your heart? Have you examined yourself to know?
Beware of self-treachery, the most easy and the most fatal of all species
of deception. There are many deceitful things in the world. The wind is
deceitful, the ocean is deceitful, the creature is deceitful, but the human
“heart is deceitful above all things,” and in nothing, probably, more so
than in the principles and motives which govern and sway it. Oh, it is
appalling to think what self-idolatry and self-seeking and self-complaisance
may reign in our hearts, prompt and govern our actions!
How carefully and nicely may we adjust our sail and shape our course to
catch the soft breath and win the low murmur of man’s approbation and
acclaim, as we float on the bosom of the stream, while ostensibly we are
doing all for God! But, retreating to my chamber, let me, in solitude,
self-scrutiny, and prayer, commune with my own heart. Laying bare, as with
the deepest incision of the knife, its spiritual anatomy before God-- my
motives, purposes, and aims-- can I say, “Lord! sinful though I am, the
chief of sinners, yet do I desire to be ruled in my life by Your Word, to be
governed in my principles by Your fear, to be constrained in Your service by
Your love, and to make Your honor and glory the end of all I do.” Thus ruled
and swayed, how fragrant and acceptable to Him your lowliest service, your
lowest offering!
It may be but the “widow’s mite” you have cast into the treasury- to Him it
is more costly than the jeweled diadem. It may be but a “cup of cold water”
you have offered to a disciple in His name- to Him it is as beauteous and
sparkling as the crystal river which flows from beneath His throne. It may
be a service for Christ you have done, imperfect in itself and trying to
your spirit, unrecognized and unrewarded by others; yet, the tribute of your
heart, in harmony with His will, and promotive of His glory, this box of
precious ointment which you have broken shall fill earth with the fragrance
of your love, and heaven with the music of Christ’s praise.
Know the Heavenly Tendencies of Your Own Heart. Commune
with your own heart, and ascertain its heavenly tendencies-- whether the
shadows of time or the realities of eternity have the ascendancy. Let no
child of God deem such a scrutiny needless. The Word of God is replete with
exhortations to the Church to set its affections on things above and not on
the earth; to seek first the kingdom of God; to have its conversation in
heaven. Encompassed as we are by earth, blinded by objects of sense, weighed
down by human cares and anxieties, we need to be watchful against their
secular influence upon our minds.
It is good, therefore, to retire to our chamber and examine the spiritual
barometer of the soul, to adjust the balance of the affections, and to see
that divine and eternal realities are obtaining a growing ascendancy and
pre-eminence. How distinct and impressive the precept-- “Love not the world,
neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the
love of the Father is not in him.”- “Be not conformed to this world, but be
you transformed.”- “Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us
from this present evil world, according to the will of God and our Father.”
Know Your Own Heart as to its Real and Habitual
Fellowship with God. Commune with your own heart as to its real and habitual
fellowship with God. Do we pray? What is the character of our prayers? Do we
pray in the Spirit? Is our prayer communion? Do we walk with God as a
Father, and with Christ as our best Friend? And is the throne of grace the
sweetest, holiest, dearest spot to us on earth? For the lack of this honest
communion with our heart, there is often an essential defect in our
communion with the heart of Jesus. Our hearts grow so cold that we are
insensible to the warmth of His. There is so little self-examination
touching prayer, that our devotions glide into a cold, abstract formality,
and petitions and supplications which should be as swift arrows shot from
the bow of faith entering into the presence of God, congeal in icicles upon
our lips. Oh, look well to the state of your heart in the matter of prayer-
it is the true, the safest test of the spiritual condition of your soul. See
that your devotions are the utterances of the Spirit, sprinkled with atoning
blood, and offered in the lowly, loving spirit of adoption, the breathing of
a child to God as your Father. This is “fellowship,” and all other is but
the name.
Know Your Progress in the Divine Life. Commune with
your own heart as to your progress in the divine life. It is impossible to
know correctly the distance we are on our heavenward way, the stages we have
traveled, the points we have reached, without self-communion. The mariner
examines his ocean-chart, the traveler the milestones of the road, to mark
the progress he has made homewards; how much more necessary this for the
voyager to eternity, for the traveler to the heavenly Zion! Everything in
nature is advancing- nothing stationary. Progress is the universal law of
the universe. Is the renewed soul- the heavenly traveler- alone to stand
still? Is the living water, welled within the soul of the regenerate, alone
to be stagnant? Is the kingdom of grace alone exempt from the operation of
this law of progress? Let your inquiry then be- How high is my sun in the
moral heavens? How near is it to its glorious setting? How far am I from the
haven where my soul longs to be, sheltered from storm and billow in eternal
safety and repose? “Knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out
of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed,” (Rom.
13:11.)
And, then, as to the dealings of our heavenly Father, how
close should be our self-communion! God deals with us that we might deal
with ourselves, and then with Him. An affliction often recalls our thoughts
and sympathies and care from others, and concentrates them upon our more
neglected self. “They made me the keeper of the vineyard, but my own
vineyard have I not kept.” Why has the Lord, perhaps, taken you apart from
the activities of life, from the duties of your family, and from the
religious engagements which have been so exciting and absorbing? Just that
in this lone hour, in this quiet chamber, on this bed of sickness and
reflection, you might be the better schooled in the much-neglected duty of
self-communion. God would have you now ascertain the why and the wherefore
of this present discipline: what backsliding this stroke is to correct; what
sin this chastening is to chide; what declension this probing is to
discover; what neglected duty this rebuke is to make known; what disobeyed
command this rod is to reveal.
Oh, how needed and wholesome and precious is self-communion now! Never,
perhaps, before has your heart been laid open to such inspection, subjected
to such scrutiny, submitted to such tests. Never have you been brought into
such close contact with yourself; never has self-communion appeared to you
so needed, so solemn, and so blessed as in this quiet chamber. Ah, my
much-abused, much-neglected heart! how have I allowed you to wander, to be
enamored, enchained, won, and possessed by others! How has your spiritual
verdure withered, how have your fresh springs dried, your beauty faded, and
your strength decayed! How cold, how inconstant, how unfaithful, how unkind
have you been to your best, your dearest, your heavenly Friend! But for the
restraints of His grace and the constraints of His love, and the checks of
His gentle corrections, where, oh, where would you have gone? I thank you,
Lord for Your discipline- for the shaded path, the severed tie, the lonely
sorrow, the loving, lenient correction that recalls my heart to You!
Know the State of Your Heart Touching the Spirit of
Thanksgiving and Praise. Commune with your own heart to ascertain its
state touching the existence and exercise of the spirit of thanksgiving and
praise. There is scarcely any part of our religious experience that receives
less attention and insight than this. And in consequence of its neglect, we
lose much personal holiness, and God much glory. Praise is as much an
element of our Christianity, as distinctly a duty and a privilege, as
prayer. And yet how little of it do we exhibit! We are so absorbed by the
trials and discouragements of the Christian pilgrimage as to overlook its
blessings and its helps. We dwell so much upon the somber coloring of the
daily picture of life as to be insensible to its brighter hues.
But did we deal more with the good and less with the evil; did we weigh our
mercies with our trials; were we to reflect that if one sorrow is sent, how
much heavier a sorrow that one may have prevented-- if one trial comes, how
much greater that trial might have been-- and that when the Lord sends us
one discomfort, or permits one reverse, He sends us many comforts, and
crowns our arms with many victories-- that there is not a dispensation of
His providence, whatever its form and complexion, that is not a vehicle of
mercy, that does not breathe a beatitude-- that the blessing of God, the
smile of Jesus, and the voice of the Spirit’s love, are in every event and
incident and circumstance of our history-- then, what a more thankful,
praiseful spirit should we cherish!
How should we examine our hearts to discover and expel thence the lurking
spirit of murmur and rebellion and fretting against the Lord! how should we
uplift every window, and remove every veil that would admit the beams of
God’s goodness entering and penetrating every recess, and lighting up the
entire soul with the sunshine of mercy, and making it vocal with the music
of praise! I have exhorted you, beloved reader, to cultivate self-communion
as to the matter of prayer; with equal point and earnestness do I exhort you
to this holy duty as to the matter of praise.
There exists a serious defect in the Christianity, a sad lack in the
religious experience of many of the Lord’s people touching this holy
exercise. The Lord has declared, “Whoever offers praise glorifies me.” And
the holy apostle, speaking by the Spirit, exhorts, “Be anxious for nothing;
but in everything by prayer and supplication, with THANKSGIVING, let your
requests be made known unto God.” And in another place we learn how
comprehensive is this precept, “Giving THANKS always for all things unto God
and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,” (Eph. 5:20.) Thanks
always for ALL things! Then I am to cultivate a feeling of gratitude and to
breathe a spirit of praise for all that my God and Father pleases to send
me. I am always to be in a thankful, praiseful spirit for all the
dispensations of His providence and grace.
What a holy state will my soul then be in! What happiness will it ensure to
my heart, and what a revenue of glory will accrue to God! How will it
lighten my burdens, soothe my cares, heal the chaffings of sorrow, and shed
gleams of sunshine upon many a lonely, dreary stage of my journey. I am too
little praiseful. I am looking only to the crossing of my will, to the
disappointment of my hopes, to the foil of my plans, to what my Father sees
fit to restrain and withhold, and not to the mercies and blessings, bright
as the stars which glow and chime above me, and numerous as the sands of the
ocean upon which in pensive sadness I tread; therefore it is that while
those stars chant His praise, and those sands speak His goodness and power,
I alone am silent! And yet, my Father, there is nothing in Yourself nor in
Your dealings which ought not to inspire my deepest gratitude and praise to
You!
Know with Certainty your Possession of Heart Religion.
If, my beloved reader, there is one caution which I would urge with deeper
emphasis of meaning and solemnity of spirit than another, it is this- be not
satisfied without the clearest evidence of the personal possession of
HEART-RELIGION. In nothing does there exist a greater tendency, a more easy
road to fatal self-destruction than in this. The substitutes for
heart-religion are so many and subtle, that without the closest scrutiny and
the most rigid analysis of religious feeling and action, we may be betrayed,
unsuspectingly to ourselves, into the gravest error.
You may be religious- very religious- conscientiously religious, and yet be
destitute of vital true Christianity. Denominational partisanship is not
true Christianity. Religious activity is not true Christianity. You may be
the warm promoter and patron of that which is Christian and philanthropic
and useful in its nature-- the school, the asylum, the bazaar, the society--
and yet not possess true Christianity! You may aid in the building of
churches, in the appointment of ministers, in the securing of endowments, in
the sanitary, moral, and intellectual well-being of a community, and still
be destitute of VITAL true Christianity. You may submit to the rite of
baptism, may go to the Lord’s table, may take upon you in any form the vows
of God, and yet remain without a changed heart and a renewed mind.
All this which I have been describing is but religious still life- the mere
galvanism, the simulation, the counterfeit of vital godliness- a wretched
copy of the original! Examine yourself by these tests: Do I know that my
sins are pardoned through Christ? Have I peace with God in Jesus? Am I
living in the enjoyment of the Spirit of adoption? Have I in my soul the
happiness, the joy, the consolation, the hope which heart-religion imparts?
Or- solemn thought!- am I endeavoring to quiet my conscience, to stifle
self-reflection, to divert my thoughts from my unsatisfactory, unhappy
condition and state of mind by the religious substitutes and subterfuges
with which the present age so profusely abounds, and which, with those who
are ensnared by them, pass for real spiritual life? Oh, commune faithfully
with your own heart touching this matter!
Directions as to the Manner in which Self Communion is to
be Engaged. A few directions as to the manner of engaging in this solemn
duty of self-communion.
A spiritual work, we must, in its engagement, seek earnestly the aid of the
Holy Spirit. He alone can enable us to unlock the wards, to unravel the
mystery, and to penetrate into the veiled depths of our own heart. We need
the knowledge, the grace, the love of the Spirit in a task so purely
spiritual as this. Let us, then, betake ourselves to the Holy Spirit, invoke
His power, supplicate His grace, and seek His renewed anointing. Our hearts
His perpetual home, enshrined there in the new creation He has formed for
Himself, He is better acquainted with them than we are ourselves, and is
prepared to aid us faithfully and successfully to discharge this difficult
and humbling task of self-communion. “You have an unction from the Holy One,
and know all things.” This divine anointing will essentially assist you in
an experimental knowledge of yourself.
Blend communion with Christ with self-communion. Let converse with your own
heart be in unison with converse with the heart of God. Endeavor to realize
that in this sacred engagement God is with you, His thoughts towards you
thoughts of peace, and the feelings of His heart the warm pulsations of His
love. Associate all views of yourself with this view of God: that whatever
discoveries you arrive at of waywardness and folly, idolatry and sin--
however dark and humiliating the inward picture-- not a frown of displeasure
shall glance from His eye, nor a word of reproach breathe from His lips. Oh,
do you think that He will join in your self-accusation? that because you
loathe, and abhor, and condemn yourself, He will likewise loathe, abhor, and
condemn you? Never. Listen to His words- “Thus says the high and lofty One
that inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy
place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the
spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.”
Bending low at His feet, in penitential acknowledgment of sin, in the holy
act of self-communion and prayer, no atmosphere shall encircle and embrace
you but the atmosphere of Divine forgiving love. I venture to
suggest another and the most important direction in this work of
self-communion-- Commune with your own heart, looking fully to the cross of
Christ. Without this, self-examination may induce the spirit of bondage.
It should never be entered upon but upon the principles, and in the spirit
of the gospel. It is only as we deal closely with the Atonement, we can deal
closely with sin. It is only as we deal faithfully with the blood, that we
can deal faithfully with our own hearts. Overwhelming were the revelations
of a rigid self-scrutiny but for the hold faith maintains of the sacrifice
of Christ- the close, realizing apprehension it has of the cross of Jesus.
You must commune with Christ’s heart and your own heart at the same moment!
Looking at Jesus in the face, you will be enabled to look your sins in the
face; and as your love to Him deepens, so will deepen your sin and
self-abhorrence.
As has been beautifully remarked, “for one look at yourself, take ten looks
at Christ;” no dark discovery will then sink you to despair. Ah, how little
we deal with the heart of our Lord! We find finite depths of iniquity in our
own, but we forget the infinite depths of grace that are in His. Ours is
cold and fickle in its love and constancy- His is overflowing with a love as
changeless and immutable as His being. Oh, then, take every discovery you
make in this humbling task of self-scrutiny to Christ.
Remember that if you are a believer in the Lord Jesus, every sin and
infirmity and deficiency you discover, Christ has died for, He has shed His
blood for, and has forever put away; and that, repairing anew to His
atonement and His grace, you shall have your iniquities subdued, and your
conscience purified, and your soul reinstated in a sense of pardon and
Divine acceptance. It is beneath the cross alone that sin shall be seen,
hated, conquered, and forsaken. Sin, guilt, unbelief, impenitence, cannot
live a moment under the sacred shadow of the cross of Christ. Drag your foe
there, and it is slain. Go there, my soul, and weep, mourn, and love; and in
communing with your own heart, oh, forget not the yet deeper, closer
communion with the heart of Jesus!
We will group together a few of the hallowed BLESSINGS
that result from this habit of self-communion. In the first place, it will
help to keep you acquainted with the true state of your soul. By this daily
survey you will know how matters stand between God and your own conscience.
Sin shall not seek supremacy, and you not know it; the world will not obtain
an ascendancy, and you not be conscious of it; the creature will not become
idolatrous, and you not be suspicious of its encroachment; Christ will not
grow less in your estimation and love, and you remain insensible to the
change. Self-communion will keep you whole nights upon your watch-tower, and
the foe shall not surprise you.
The duty, too, will increasingly deepen the conviction of your
individuality. You will feel it to be a solemn privilege to commune with
your own heart; and thus your own responsibility- a fact so lamentably
overlooked- will appear in its proper and impressive light. How few indulge
in this searching inquiry into the state of their own hearts, lest their
self-esteem should be lowered! Hence it is that we meet continually with
people possessed of great shrewdness and sagacity in all other matters who
are most lamentably ignorant of themselves. Many have obtained an
extraordinary knowledge of mankind in general, and can discover at once the
weak points of every individual, but are pitiably blind to every one of
their own infirmities: it is amusing to observe that of all people within
the circle of their acquaintanceship they are perhaps the only parties to
whom their own failings are unknown.
Prosecuting honestly and vigorously this self-research, you will have less
time and still less inclination to examine and judge your fellows. Vain and
officious attempts to penetrate and unveil the hearts of others will give
place to the yet more neglected, important, and humbling work of examining,
unveiling, and searching your own heart. Oh that all who profess the name of
the Lord Jesus were more deeply concerned about the spiritual condition of
themselves as in the sight of God! There would then be less censoriousness
and uncharitableness, less judging the motives and condemning the actions of
others, and more humility, kindness, and love in the Church of God.
Commune with your own heart, and leave to others the solemn responsibility
and duty of communing with theirs. To their Master they stand or fall. Enter
into your chamber, and in the solemn, the awful stillness of an hour spent
alone with God, deal with your own heart and be still. This work faithfully
done, you will emerge thence too much filled with astonishment and
condemnation at the discoveries you have made of your own self, to examine,
judge, and condemn others!
Self-communion, too, will greatly conduce to growth in personal holiness.
The eye will be more concentrated upon the seat of evil, the sentinel of
your heart will be more wakeful, and sin and temptation will have less power
to surprise and overcome you.
It will also promote true humility. Self-communion will lead to
self-acquaintance, and this in its turn will dispel those vain delusions and
conceits with which the flattery of others may have inflated us. Alas that
there should be so much religious flattery and compliment- the most
ensnaring and injurious of all species of adulation- among professors of
religion! Here is the antidote- self-knowledge! This will turn the fine edge
of the fatal weapon- self-communion! The too fond and partial opinion of
your graces, your spiritual attainments and your usefulness, expressed by
others, will leave you unscathed if you are found in much communion with
your own heart in your chamber.
Few spiritual engagements, too, will more vigorously promote in your soul
the yet higher and more solemn time of prayer. To know in some degree
ourselves-- the heart, whose infirmities others see not, nor even suspect,
but which we know to be so vile-- is to impel us to prayer.
Once more, how precious will Jesus grow with growing self-communion! How
will it endear His atonement, His grace, yes, Himself, to the heart! That
engagement which deepens the conviction of our own sinfulness, helplessness,
and need, which discovers to us taint and flaw and imperfection in the
“hidden part,” the fountain all poisoned and impure, must deepen our sense
of the infinite worth and preciousness of the Savior. Where can we look with
one gleam of hope but to His blood and righteousness? That sacrifice offered
once for all, that divine atonement, that perfect work, that righteousness
that raises us above all demerit into the sunshine of God’s presence, the
light of which reveals not a speck upon us, just meets our case, quells our
fears, and assures us of divine acceptance.
Surely, then, the closer the acquaintance we form with ourselves, while it
throws us upon the Savior, must render Him an object increasingly precious
to our hearts. Dealing closely with our own selves in the time of God’s
dispensations will elucidate much that is obscure, explain much that is
mysterious, and soothe much that is painful and sad. When the Psalmist was
sorely tried in his soul, when his sore ran in the night and ceased not,
when his soul refused to be comforted, and his spirit was overwhelmed, when
he was so troubled that he could not speak, then came the remedy: “I call to
remembrance my song in the night: I commune with my own heart: and my spirit
made diligent search.”
And when from this process of self-communion-- searching into all the
thousand memories of God’s past loving-kindness and faithfulness laid up in
the heart-- he arose, he arose a victor over all his dark forebodings, and
gloomy fears, and depressing sorrows; his faith confirmed in the truth that
the Lord never casts off His people, that His promise fails not for
evermore, that He had not forgotten to be gracious, nor in anger had shut up
His tender mercies.
Is your heart searching for one spring of comfort, for one ray of hope, for
one throb of love in this the long, dreary night of your sorrow? Search, O
child of God! for you shall find some stored remembrance there of God’s past
faithfulness and love, and this shall be a token to you that all that the
Lord your God has been to you, He is now, and will be forever.
“When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.”
“Be still!” Let communion with your own heart soothe it to perfect peace and
repose, calm in the assurance that nothing shall separate it from God’s
love-- that the government of all worlds and all beings and all things is
upon Christ’s shoulders-- that your heavenly Father is causing all things in
your individual history to work together for good-- and that you may wait
with confidence, quietness, and cheerful composure the issue of the night of
gloom and tears which now enshrouds your soul within its gloomy pavilion.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see
if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."