"The Lord God said—It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a
helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18
Human misery is to divine mercy, as a black
foil to a sparkling diamond, or as a sable cloud to the sunbeams. "Lord,
what is man, that you are mindful of him?" Man is—
In his creation, angelical;
in his corruption, diabolical;
in his renovation, theological;
in his translation, majestical.
Man is—
1. An Angel in Eden.
2. A Devil in the World.
3. A Saint in the Church.
4. A King in Heaven.
There were four silver channels in which the crystal
streams of God's affection, ran to man in his creation.
1. In his Preparation.
2. In his Assimilation.
3. In his Coronation,
4. In his Association.
1. In his Preparation:
Other creatures
received the charter of their beings by a simple fiat—but there was a
consultation at man's forming, not for the difficulty of the work—but
for the dignity of the work. The painter is more studious
about his masterpiece. The four elements were taken out of their
elements, to make up the perfection of man's complexion; the fire was
purified, the air was clarified, the water was purged, the
earth was refined. When man was molded, heaven and earth
were married; a body from the one was espoused to a soul from
the other.
2. In his Assimilation:
Other creatures were
made like themselves—but man was made like God, as the wax has the
impression of the seal upon it. It is admirable to behold so fair a
picture—on such coarse canvas, and so bright a character—on such dark paper.
3. In his Coronation:
He who made man and all
the rest, made man over all the rest. He was a little lord of
great lordship; this king was crowned in his cradle.
4. In his Association:
Society is the solace
of humanity; the world would be a desert without a consort.
Most of men's parts are made of pairs; now he who was
double in his perfection, must not be single in his condition:
"The Lord God said—It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a
helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18
These words are like the iron-gate that opened to Peter
of its own accord, dividing themselves into three parts.
1. An instruction, "The Lord God said"
2. An assertion, "It is not good for the man to be alone"
3. A determination, "I will make a helper suitable for him."
In the first, there is a majesty proposed.
In the second, there is a malady presented.
In the third, there is a remedy provided.
Once more, let me put these sweet grapes into the
press.
1. The sovereignness of the expression, "The Lord
God said"
2. The solitariness of the condition, "It is not good for the man to
be alone"
3. The suitableness of the provision, "I will make a helper suitable
for him."
In the first, there is the worth of Veracity,
In the second, there is the want of Society,
In the third, there is the work of Divinity.
Luke 1:70, "As he spoke by the mouth of his prophets." In
other scriptures he used their mouths—but in this, he made use of his own
mouth. They were the organs—and he the breath; they were the
streams—and he the fountain. How he spoke—it is hard to
be spoken, whether eternally, or internally, or externally. We are not to
inquire into the manner of speaking—but into the matter that
is spoken; which leads me like a directing star from the suburbs—to
the city, from the porch—to the palace, from the
founder of the mine—to the treasure that is in it. "It is not
good for the man to be alone"
Take this in two branches:
1. As it is limited to one man.
2. As it is lengthened to all men.
First, as it is limited to one man,
and so it is taken particularly—"man" for the first man. When
all other creatures had their mates, Adam had none. Though he was the
emperor of the earth, and the admiral of the seas—yet in
paradise, he was without a companion. Though he was truly happy—yet
he was not fully happy. Though he had enough for his board—yet
he had not enough for his bed. Though he had many creatures to
serve him—yet he wanted a creature to solace him. Though he was
compounded in creation, he must be completed by
conjunction. Though he had no sin to hurt him, then he must have
a wife to help him, "It is not good for the man to be alone".
Secondly, as it is lengthened to all men,
and so it is taken universally. "Marriage is honorable unto all." It is not
only warrantable—but honorable.
The whole Trinity has conspired together to set a
crown of glory upon the head of Matrimony.
1. God the Father; Marriage was a tree planted
within the walls of paradise; this flower first grew in God's garden.
2. The Son; Marriage is a crystal-glass, wherein
Christ and the saints do see each others faces.
3. The Holy Spirit; by his overshadowing of the
blessed Virgin. Well might the world, when it saw her pregnancy,
suspect her virginity—but her matrimonial condition was a grave to
that suspicion; without this, her innocency would not have prevented her
infamy. She needed a shield to defend that chastity abroad, which was kept
inviolable at home.
Too many that have not worth enough to preserve
that virginity—have yet will enough to cover their unchastity.
Turning the medicine of frailty into the mantle of filthiness.
Certainly she is mad—who cuts off her leg to get her a crutch, or who
mangles her face to wear a mask.
Paul makes it one of the characters of those who deny
the faith, "They forbid people to marry." 1 Tim. 4:3. Not to
forbear marriage, which may be lawful—but to forbid it, which
is sinful.
It is strange that the Church of Rome should make
that a pollution—which was instituted before corruption; or
that impurity—which was ordained in the state of innocency; or
that they should make that to be a sin—which they make to be a
sacrament. But a bastard may be laid at the door of chastity,
and a leaden crown set upon a golden head.
Bellarmine, that mighty Atlas of the Papal power,
blows his stinking breath upon marriage saying, "Better were it for a
priest to defile himself with many harlots—than to be married to one wife."
These children of the purple whore prefer their monasteries
before our marriages; a concubine before a companion.
They use too many for their lusts—to choose any for their love.
Their tables are so largely spread, that they cannot feed upon one dish.
As for their exalting of a virgin-state—it is like
him who commended fasting, when he had filled his belly.
Who knows not, that virginity is a pearl of
sparkling luster? But cannot the one be set up—without the other being
thrown down? Will no oblation pacify the former—but the demolishing of the
latter? Though we find many enemies to the choice of marriage—yet it
is rare to find any enemies to the use of marriage. They would pick
the lock—who lack the key; and pluck the fruit—who do not plant the tree.
The Hebrews have a saying, "He is not a man—who has not a
woman." Though they climb too high a bough—yet it is to be feared, that
singleness is full of imperfection; that is not tending to propagation.
Though man alone may be good—yet it is not good that man should be alone;
which leads me to the next point, "It is not good for the man to be
alone".
Now, it is not good that man should be in a single
condition
, upon a threefold consideration.
1. It is not good in respect of
sin—which would not else be prevented. Marriage is like water, to
quench the sparks of lust's fire. "Because there is so much sexual
immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have
her own husband." Man needed no such remedy when he was in perfect health.
Temptations may break nature's best fence, and lay its paradise waste—but a
single life is a prison of unruly desires, which is daily
attempted to be broken open.
Some indeed force themselves to a single life,
merely to avoid the responsibilities of a married state. They had
rather fry in the grease of their own sensuality, than extinguish
those flames with an allowed remedy. "It is better to marry than to burn
with passion." It is better to be lawfully coupled—than to be lustfully
scorched. It is better feeding these flames with ordinary fuel.
2. It is not good in respect of
mankind—which then would not be propagated. The Roman
historian relating the raping of the Sabine women, excused it thus—"without
them mankind would fall from the earth and perish." Marriages do turn
mutability into the image of eternity. Marriage springs up new
buds, when the old are withered. It is a greater honor for a man to be
the father of one son, than to be the master of many servants. Without a
wife, children cannot be had lawfully; without a good wife, children
cannot be had comfortably. Man and woman, as the stock and the scion,
being grafted by marriage—are trees bearing fruit to the world.
Marriage is the first link of human society, to which all
the rest are joined. Mankind would have long ago decayed—if those breaches
which are made by mortality, were not repaired by matrimony.
3. It is not good in regard of the
Church—which could not then have been propagated. Where there
is no generation, there can be no regeneration. Nature makes us
creatures, before grace makes us Christians. If the
loins of men had been less fruitful—the death of Christ would
have been less successful.
One said, "Marriage fills the earth—but
virginity fills the heavens." But another answered, "How can the
heavens be full—if the earth is empty?"
Had Adam lived in innocency without matrimony, there
would have been no servants of God in the Church militant, nor any
saints with God in the Church triumphant. But I will not sink this
vessel—by the over-burdening of it; nor press this truth to death—by laying
too great a load upon its shoulders.
There is one knot which I must untie before
I make a further progress, "It is good for a man not to marry." 1
Corinthians 7:1
Do all the scriptures proceed out of the same mouth—and
do they not all speak the same truth? The God of unity—will
not write discord; and the God of verity—cannot assert
falsehood. If good and evil are contraries—how contrary then are these
scriptures! Some say that either Moses mistakes God—or Paul
mistakes Moses about the point of marriage. To which I shall give a double
answer.
There is a public good—and a private good.
In respect to a particular man, it may be good for him not to marry.
But in respect of all men in general—it is not good that man should
be alone.
Moses speaks of the state of man created—Paul of
the state of man corrupted. Now that which by institution was
a mercy—may by corruption become a misery; as pure
water is tainted by running through a miry channel, or as
the sun's beams receive a tincture by shining through a
colored glass. There is no print of evil in the world—but sin has
the stamp which made it. Those who seek nothing but weal in
its commission, will find nothing but woe in the conclusion.
This leads me from the solitariness of the condition,
"It is not good for the man to be alone"—to the suitableness of the
provision, "I will make a helper suitable for him." In which you have
two parts:
1. The agent, "I will make."
2. The object, "a helper."
First, the agent
—"I will make."
We cannot build a house without tools. But the Trinity can
create without tools—and without materials. To God's
omniscience there is nothing invisible; and to God's
omnipotence there is nothing impossible.
We must work with our hands—but God works
without hands. He who made man fit for help—makes a helper fit for man.
Marriages are consented above—but consummated below. "He who
finds a wife finds what is good—and receives favor from the Lord." Proverbs
18:22. Though every man needs supply—yet no man cannot supply his needs.
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of
the heavenly lights." A wife, though she is not a perfect gift—yet
she is a good gift. These beams are all darted from the Sun of
Righteousness.
Have you a soft heart? It is of God's breaking.
Have you a sweet wife? She is of God's making. Let me draw up this
expression—with a double application.
When you are looking for such a good wife on earth—look
up to the God of heaven. Let him make your choice for you—who has
made his choice of you. Look above you—before you look
around you. Nothing makes up the happiness of a married
condition—like the holiness of a godly disposition. Do not account
those the most worthy women—who are the most wealthy women. Are you matched
to the Lord? Match in the Lord. How happy are such
marriages—where Christ is at the wedding! Let none but those who have found
favor in God's eyes—find favor in your eyes!
Give God the praise for your good companion. Take heed of
paying your rent—to a wrong landlord. When you taste of the stream,
reflect on the spring which feeds it. Now you have four eyes
for your speculation, four hands for your operation, four feet
for your ambulation, and four shoulders for your sustenation. What
the sin against the holy Spirit is in point of divinity, that is
unthankfulness in point of morality—an unpardonable offence! Pity
it is, that the moon will not acknowledge her beams to be
borrowed from the sun. He who praises not the giver, prizes not the gift.
I pass from the agent to
Second, the object
—"a helper". She must
be so much—and no less; and so much—and no more. Our ribs were not
ordained to be our rulers. They are not made of the head—to
claim superiority; but out of the side—to be content with
equality. They desert the Author of nature—that invert the
order of nature. The woman was made for the man's comfort—but the
man was not made for the woman's command. Those shoulders
aspire too high—which are not content with a room below their head.
It is between a man and his wife in the house, as it is
between the sun and the moon in the heavens; when the greater light
goes down—the lesser light gets up. When the one ends in
setting—the other begins in shining. The wife may be a
sovereign in her husband's absence—but she must be subject in her
husband's presence. As Pharaoh said to Joseph, so should the husband say to
his wife, "You shall be in charge of my palace, and all my people are to
submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be
greater than you." Genesis 41:40. The body of that household can
never make any good motion—whose bones are out of place.
The woman must be a helper to the man in these four
things:
To his Piety,
To his Society,
To his Progeny,
To his Prosperity.
To her husband's piety, by the ferventness
of her sanctification.
To his society, by the fragrantness of her conversation.
To his progeny, by the fruitfulness of her education.
To his prosperity, by the faithfulness of her preservation.
1. A wife should be a helper to her husband's PIETY, by
the ferventness of her sanctification.
"Your beauty
should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing
of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner
self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great
worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4
Husband and wife should be as the two milk cows—which
were coupled together to carry the ark of God. Or as the
two Cherubim, which looked upon one another, and both upon the
mercy-seat. Or as the two tables of stone, on each of which were
engraved the laws of God. In some families married people are like
Jeremiah's two baskets of figs—the one very good, the other very
evil. Or like fire and water—while the one is flaming
in devotion, the other is freezing in corruption.
There is a two-fold hindrance in holiness:
First, on the right side. When the wife
would run in God's way—the husband will not let her go. When the
fore horse in a team will not draw properly—he wrongs all the rest. When
the general of an army forbids a march—all the soldiers stand still.
Secondly, on the left side.
How did
Solomon's idolatrous wives draw away his heart from Heaven! A
sinning wife was Satan's first ladder, by which he scaled the
walls of Paradise, and took away the fort royal of Adam's heart from him.
Thus she who should have been the help of his flesh—was the
hurt of his faith. She who should be a crown on the
head—is a cross on the shoulders. The wife is often to the
husband, as the ivy is to the oak—which draws away his vital sap from
him.
2. A wife should be a helper to her husband's SOCIETY, by
the fragrantness of her conversation.
Man is an
affectionate creature. Now the woman's behavior should be such towards the
man, as to require his affection, by increasing his delectation;
that the new-born love may not be blasted—as soon as it is
blossomed; that it may not be ruined—before it be rooted.
A spouse should carry herself so to her husband, as not to disturb
his love by her contention, nor to destroy his love by her
alienation. Husband and wife should be like two candles burning
together, which make the house more lightsome; or like two fragrant
flowers bound up in one bouquet, which augments its redolence; or like
two well-tuned instruments, which sounding together, make the more
melodious music. Husband and wife—what are they but as two springs
meeting, and so joining their streams that they may make but one current?
It is an unpleasing spectacle to view any contention, in this
conjunction.
3. A wife should be a helper to her husband's PROGENY, by
the fruitfulness of her education
; so that her
children in the flesh may be God's children in the spirit. "Train
a child in the way he should go—and when he is old he will not turn from
it." Proverbs 22:6. Hannah vows, that if the Lord will give
her a son, by bearing him—she will return that son to
the Lord by serving him. A mother should be more careful of her
children's pious breeding, than she should be fearful of her
children's worldly bearing. Take heed lest these flowers grow in the
devil's garden! Though you bring them out in corruption—yet do not
bring them down to damnation! Those are not mothers—but monsters—who
while they should be teaching their children the way to heaven with
their lips—are leading them to hell with their lives!
Godly training is the best livery you can give them living; and it is
the best legacy you can leave them dying.
You let out your efforts to make them great; lift
up your prayers to make them godly—that before you die from them, you
may see Christ live in them. While these twigs are green and tender, they
should be bowed towards God. Children are in a family—as passengers
are in a boat; husband and wife, they are as a pair of oars to row them to
their desired haven. Let these small pieces of timber be hewed and squared
for the celestial building. By putting a scepter of grace into their
hands—you will set a crown of glory upon their heads!
4. A wife should be a helper to her husband's PROSPERITY,
by her faithful preservation
, being not a wanderer
abroad—but a worker at home. "To be self-controlled and pure, to be
workers at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so
that no one will malign the word of God." Titus 2:5.
One of the ancients speaks excellently: "She must not be
a field-wife, like Dinah; nor a street-wife, like Tamar; nor a
window-wife, like Jezebel."
Phidias, when he drew a woman, painted her as
sitting under a snail shell, that she might imitate that little
creature—which goes no further than it can carry its house upon its
head.
How many women are there, who are not laboring bees—but
idle drones! They take up a room in the hive—but bring no
honey to it! They are moths to their husband's estates,
spending when they should be sparing! As the man's part is to
provide industriously, so the woman's part is to preserve discreetly!
The husband must not be carelessly wanting; the wife must not be
causelessly waiting. The man must be seeking with diligence—and
the woman must be saving with providence. The rooster
and hen both scrape together in the dust-heap, to pick up something
for their little chicks. "She watches over the affairs of her
household and does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:27
To wind up this section—
1. If the woman is a help to the man—then let not
the man cast dirt on the woman.
Secundus treated his wife like a servant! But surely he
was a monster—and not a man! He was fitter for a tomb to bury
him—than a womb to bear him!
Some have styled their wives to be like clouds in
the sky; like motes in the sun; like snuffs in the candle;
like weeds in the garden.
It is evil to play the butcher with that gentle
gender, which has no arms but for embraces. Because they are the
weaker vessels—shall we break them all to pieces! You that say
that your wife is evil; it may be that your expression flows from
your experience—but I shall never take that mariner for my pilot,
who has no better knowledge than the wrecking of his own ship! To
blast your helper—is to blame your Maker. In a word, we took
our birth from their bellies—and may take our rest in
their bosoms.
2. Is the woman to be a help to the man? Then let the man
be a help to the woman.
What makes these debtors be such
bad pay-masters—but because they look at what is owing to
them—but not at what is owing by them? If you would have your wife's
reverence, let her have your respect.
To force a wife by fear, is that which
neither befits the husband's authority to enjoin, nor the
wife's duty to perform. A wife must never be sharply driven—but
sweetly drawn. Compassion may bend her—but
compulsion will break her! Husband and wife should act towards
each other with consent—not by constraint!
There are four things wherein the husband is a proper
help to the wife.
1. First, in his protecting her from INJURIES.
It is well observed, that the rib of which woman was made, was taken
from under the man's arm. As the use of the arm is to keep off blows
from the body, so the office of the husband is to ward off blows from the
wife. The wife is the husband's treasury, and the husband should be
the wife's armory. In darkness, he should be her sun for
direction! In danger—he should be her shield for
protection!
2. In his providing for her NECESSITIES.
The husband must communicate maintenance to the wife—as the
head conveys influence to the members. You must not be a drone—and
she a drudge! A man in a married estate, is like a chamberlain in an
inn—there is knocking for him in every room. Many husbands waste that money
in luxury—which should supply their wives necessity! They have
neither the piety of a true Christian, nor the love of
a true husband. It is a sad spectacle to see a wife in slavery
to a bad husband—who keeps her under his fetters.
3. In his covering her INFIRMITIES.
"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and
treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you
of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers." 1
Peter 3:7.
Who would trample upon a jewel—because it had
fallen in the dirt? Who would throw away a heap of wheat—for a little
chaff mixed in it? Who would disdain a wedge of gold—because it
retains a little dross? These roses all have some prickles!
Husbands should spread a mantle of charity—over their wives
infirmities. It is a great deal better you should fast—than
feast yourselves upon their failings. Some husbands are never
well—any longer than they are poking their fingers in their wives
sores! Such are like beastly crows—which fasten only upon vile
carrion. Do not put out the candle—because of a little smoke.
Allow a little dross—in your gold! Husbands and wives should
provoke one another to love; and they should love one another
notwithstanding of provocation. Take heed of poisoning those springs—from
whence the streams of your pleasure flow!
4. By his delighting in her SOCIETY.
A
wife takes sanctuary, not only in her husband's house—but in his
heart. The tree of love should grow up in the family—as
the tree of life grew up in the garden. Those who choose
their love—should love their choice. Those who marry whom they do
not love—will love those who they do not marry. Two joined together
without love—are but two chained together—only to make one another
miserable!
And so I pass to the last portion of the text— A help-meet.
A help—there is her fullness; a meet
help—there is her fitness.
The angels were too much above
him—the animals were too much below him. He could not
step up to the angels—nor could he stoop down to the
animals. The angels were out of his reach—the animals were
out of his race! But the woman is a parallel-line drawn equal
with him. She must be FIT in three things:
1. In the harmony of her DISPOSITION.
Husband and wife should be like the image in a looking-glass, which
answers in all properties to the face that stands before it. They should be
like an echo—which returns the voice it receives. Many
marriages are like putting new wine—into old bottles.
An old man is not a fit help for a young woman. He who
sets a grey head upon green shoulders—has one foot in the
grave, and another in the cradle! Yet how many times do you see
the spring of youth wedded to the winter of old age!
A young man is not a fit help for an old woman. Raw
flesh is but a bad plaster for rotten bones. He who in his youth
marries another in her senility—his lust has one wife in
possession—but his love another in reversion.
2. In the heraldry of her CONDITION.
Some of our European nations are so strict in their laws, that it is a crime
for a commoner to couple with a nobleman.
It was well said by one: "If the wife is too much
above her husband—she either ruins him by vast expenses, or reviles him
with her base reproaches. If she is too much below her husband—either
her former condition makes her too generous, or her present
mutation makes her too imperious."
Marriages are styled matches! Yet among the
many that are married—how few are there that are
matched! Husbands and wives are often like locks and keys—which
rather break than open, unless the wards be most
congenial.
3. In the holiness of her RELIGION.
If
adultery may separate a marriage contracted, idolatry
may hinder a marriage not perfected. Animals of different kinds—were
not to be yoked together. "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship
can light have with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14. It is dangerous taking
her for a wife—who will not take God for a husband. It is
not suitable, that one flesh—should be of two spirits. Is
there never a tree you like in the garden—but that which bears
forbidden fruit!
There are but two channels, in which the
remaining streams shall run.
1. To those men who lack wives—how to choose
them.
2. To those women who have husbands—how to use them.
1. To those MEN who lack wives—how to choose
them.
Marriage is the tying of such a knot—which nothing
but death can unloose! Common reason suggests so much—that we should
be long a-doing, that which can only be once done. Where
one good marriage plan has been graveled in the sands of delay;
thousands of bad marriage plans have been split upon the
rock of hastiness. Rash adventures, yield little gain.
Marriage opportunities are not like tides, that when one is past,
another returns. Take heed of flying—without your wings! A bad marriage may
breed such an illness in your bones—which may shake you to your grave!
1. Let me preserve you from a bad choice.
2. Let me present you with a good choice.
1. Let me preserve you from a bad marriage choice.
Do not choose a marriage partner, for these three things:
1. Do not choose for beauty.
2. Do not choose for dowry.
3. Do not choose for dignity.
He who looks for beauty—buys a picture.
He who loves for dowry—makes a purchase.
He who leaps for dignity—marries a multitude at once.
He who looks for beauty—is too blind to be
directed.
He who loves for dowry—is too base to be accepted.
He who leaps for dignity—is too brash to be respected.
1. He who looks for beauty—chooses by his
eyes.
2. He who loves for dowry—chooses by his hands.
3. He who leaps for dignity—chooses by his ears.
1. First, do not choose by your EYES—looking at the
beauty of the person.
Beauty is not all for
which a woman should be beloved. Solomon, who had the choice of many
faces—stamps this character upon them all, "Charm is deceptive, and
beauty does not last!" Proverbs 31:30. The sun is more bright in a
clear sky—than when the horizon is clouded. But if a woman's
flesh has more of beauty—than her spirit has of piety—it is like
poison in pastries—most dangerous! "The sons of God saw that the
daughters of men were beautiful, and they married any of them they
chose." Genesis 6:2. One would have thought, that they should rather have
looked for grace in the heart, than for beauty in the face!
Take heed of lodging at the inn with the most colorful signs. The swan has
black flesh under her white feathers!
2. Do not choose by your HANDS—for the bounty
of the portion.
When Cato's wealthy daughter was asked
why she did not marry; she replied that she could not find a man who loved
her person—above her portion. Men love pretty pictures—but
they must have them set in golden frames. Some are so degenerate, as
to think any person good enough—who has but goods enough. Take
heed—for sometimes the bag and baggage go together! The
person should be a figure, and the portion a cipher, which added
to her, advances the sum; but alone, the cipher signifies nothing. When
Themistocles was to marry off his daughter, two suitors courted her.
One was rich—but a fool. The other was wise—but poor. Being
asked which of the two he would rather have his daughter marry, he answered,
"I much rather she marry a man without money—than money without a
man."
3. Do not choose by your
EARS—for the dignity of her parentage. A good old
stock—may nourish a fruitless branch. There are many children who
are not the blessings—but the blemishes of their parents. They
are nobly descended—but ignobly minded. Such was Aurelius
Atoninus, of who it was said, that he injured his country in nothing—but
being the father of such a wicked child. There are many low in
their descents—who are high in their deserts. Such was
the cobbler's son, who grew to be a famous captain. When a noble
upbraided the baseness of his family, the poor man replied, "My nobility
begins with me—but your nobility ends with you!"
Piety is a greater honor—than parentage. She
is the noblest woman—who is heir of her own deserts—and not the
degenerated offspring of another's virtue.
2. I present you with a good choice in three things:
1. Choose such a one as will be subject to your
dominion. Take heed of yoking yourselves with untamed heifers.
2. Choose such a one as may sympathize with you in
your affliction. Marriage is just like a sea voyage; he who enters into
this ship must look to meet with storms and tempests! "Those who marry will
face many troubles in this life." 1 Corinthians 7:28. Flesh and
trouble married together, whether we marry or not. A bitter cup
is too much to be drank by one mouth. A heavy burden is easily
carried—by the assistance of other shoulders. Husband and wife should
neither be proud flesh—nor dead flesh. You are fellow-members,
therefore should have a fellow-feeling. While one stands safe on the
shore—the other should pity the other who is tossed on the sea. Sympathy in
suffering, is like a dry house on a wet day.
3. Choose such a one as may be serviceable to your
salvation. A man may think he has a saint—when he has a devil! Take heed
of a harlot who is false to your bed; and of a hypocrite who
is false to your God.
2. To those WOMEN who have husbands—how to use
them.
In two things:
1. Behave towards them with
subjection. Let their authority command you—that their
praise may commend you. Though you may have your husbands'
hearts—yet you must not have their heads. As you will his love—so
you should love his will. Until the husband leaves commanding,
the wife must never leave obeying. As his injunctions must be
lawful—so her subjection must be loyal.
2. Behave towards them with
faithfulness. In creation, God made not one woman for many men,
nor many women for one man. Every wife should be to her husband, as Eve was
to Adam—a whole world of women. And every husband should be to his
wife, as Adam was to Eve—a whole world of men. When a river is
divided into many channels, the main current starves.
To conclude: Good children are a great
blessing—but a good wife is the greatest blessing! He who wants
such a good wife—should seek for her. He who has lost such
a good wife—should sigh for her. He who enjoys such a good
wife—should take pleasure in her.
"The Lord God said—It is not good for the man to be
alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18