MY BROTHER'S KEEPER
Letters from James Alexander (1804-1859)
to his younger brother, on the virtues and
vices, the duties and dangers of youth.
Dangers of Evil Companions
My dear brother,
From your earliest infancy you have been taught to avoid bad companions, and
I hope you see the importance of this more and more. Our manners, our
habits, and our ways of thinking are gathered very much from the people with
whom we associate. If you are pleased with the society of idle, impious, or
profane boys—it is a sure sign that you are already corrupted. And the
longer you continue in their company the more you will be injured.
In every school there are some lads who are seducers and
corrupters of the rest. They are not always crude or insolent, nor so openly
wicked as to shock you at the first acquaintance. Often they are young
people of good manners and gentle behavior; but under this cloak, they are
false, malignant, or licentious. When you first become acquainted with them,
you are charmed by their pleasant deportment; and it is not for a good while
that you find out their real character.
There is a saying of a Latin poet which is very true, "No
one ever became profligate all at once." The first steps are very slight.
The progress is almost imperceptible. When a boy who has been piously
educated first comes among ungodly companions, he is shocked with
their wickedness. He trembles when he hears them profane the name of God,
and retreats from their presence. Their immodest conversation causes him to
blush. When they tell willful falsehoods, he is frightened at their daring.
After having been some time in their company, this alarm and horror give
way. He still dislikes their wicked words and actions—but his ear becomes
familiar to the unholy sounds, and he grows used to their impieties.
Perhaps a boyish curiosity leads him to mingle in their circle, and listen
to their tales. By degrees he is indifferent to what at first so much
startled him. "Evil communications corrupt good manners," and he grows more
and more like his company. Unless restrained by divine grace, he becomes
worse every day.
Beginning with foolish exclamations and minced oaths, he
at length desires to appear manly and spirited, and ventures upon some
profane expression. At his first oath, it is likely he turns pale or feels
an inward shuddering. But by degrees this goes away. He is shamed out of his
early principles, and tries to let his companions see that he is as fearless
as themselves. So he proceeds, (if not hindered) until he becomes a complete
profligate.
Alas! this is the course of many a young man over whom
the tears of piety have been shed. Many a youth has thus gone on, until he
has broken a tender mother's heart, and brought down her "gray hairs with
sorrow to the grave.' Evil company is one of the chief things which
corrupt youth. Without bad companions, they would not learn to swear, to
curse, or to use indelicate language. Without bad companions, they would not
be tempted to taste intoxicating drinks, to gamble, or to practice
dishonesty. It is likely that Satan tempts quite as much by wicked people
(who are his tools) as he does directly by his own suggestions to our
hearts.
As no one can touch pitch without being defiled; so no
young person can be much with wicked playmates without being corrupted. Do
not be deceived about this. We all think a great deal of our own resolution,
and perhaps you will flatter yourself that you are not to be influenced by
bad companions. "Let him that thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall." The
only safety is in flight. You cannot sincerely pray, "Lead us not into
temptation," if you rush into bad company, which is one of the very worst of
all temptations. It may be the duty of some people to go among the
wicked, to do them good; just as it may be the duty of some people to go
into a fire, to put it out. But it would be the height of presumptuous folly
to walk through the raging flames without necessity; and it is just as
presumptuous and as foolish to frequent the society of the wicked.
One of the principal disadvantages of impious company is
that it prevents or destroys serious impressions on the heart. As soon as
wicked youth perceive that one of their number is thinking about religion,
they all turn upon him in ridicule. And in too many cases they are
successful. The poor deluded coward is more afraid of their scorn, than of
the wrath of God. He is ashamed to let it be known that he prays or reads
the Bible. Thousands and thousands have thus been drawn away from the door
of life by the taunts of scoffers. Now, my dear brother, as you value your
immortal soul, beware of this. Never be ashamed of Christ. And to avoid this
temptation, avoid all wicked companions. Consider carefully who your
intimate associates are.
If there is among them a single boy who is idle, profane,
lewd, deceitful, false, or quarrelsome, shun that boy. Break off all
acquaintance with him at once. Have as little to say to him and to do with
him as possible. You need not offend him—but you must assuredly avoid him.
The psalmist describes the good man as one who "walks not in the counsel of
the ungodly, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the
scornful." Solomon says, "My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent—my
son, walk not you in the way with them, refrain your foot from their path."
Read also the following passages—"Enter not into the path of the wicked, and
go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it; don't travel on it. Turn away from
it, and pass it by." "Forsake the foolish, and live, and go in the way of
understanding." "He who walks with the wise shall be wise; but a companion
of fools shall be destroyed."
By acting in the way which I recommend, it is possible
that you may displease some of your schoolmates; but it is better to
displease them than to offend God. And in the end, it is very likely that
even they will see that your way of life is better than theirs. Remember,
that the path of youth is beset with dangers, and ask help of God,
and instruction from his word. "How shall a young man cleanse his way? By
taking heed thereto according to your word." Farewell.
Your affectionate brother,
James